When something scary happens in the world—whether in our local community or on the news—our children look to us for reassurance. As parents, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to help them process troubling events.
Beloved children’s television host Fred Rogers offered a timeless piece of wisdom:
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
This simple but powerful idea reminds children that, even in times of crisis, there are always people working to make things better. Whether it’s first responders, doctors, teachers, or neighbors coming together, focusing on the helpers can offer a sense of hope.
So, how can we help kids feel safe and supported when they are exposed to frightening news? Experts from the Sesame Workshop and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provide valuable guidance.
1. Start by Reassuring Your Child
Children often take their emotional cues from their parents. If they sense that we are anxious or upset, they may feel even more scared. The Sesame Workshop advises parents to offer simple, honest, and age-appropriate reassurance:
- For young children: “I know this seems scary, but we are safe, and there are people working hard to help.”
- For school-age kids: “Some things in the world can be hard to understand, but we are here to keep you safe, and so are many other people, like police officers, firefighters, and doctors.”
Even if you are feeling uncertain, modeling calmness helps your child feel more secure.
2. Limit Exposure to Scary News
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), young children do not need repeated exposure to distressing news stories. Even for older children, too much news—especially graphic or sensationalized reports—can be overwhelming. And, this advice isn’t just for kids. Take care of yourself too. Your own resilience is a foundation for your children.
Tips for Managing Media Exposure:
- Turn off the TV/radio when kids are around – They may overhear more than you realize.
- Check the news first before discussing it – This way, you can frame the conversation in a way that is appropriate for their age.
- Stick to trusted news sources – Avoid misinformation that may increase anxiety.
- Encourage breaks from screens – Replace news time with activities that promote calmness, like reading, drawing, or playing outside.
3. Create a Safe Space for Questions
Children are naturally curious, and they may have questions about what they hear. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers! Sesame Workshop experts suggest:
- Listen first. Ask, “What have you heard?” to understand what they already know.
- Correct misunderstandings. Young children may assume that an event happening on repeat in the news is happening over and over again. Clarify that it’s the same event being reported.
- Use simple, honest language. Avoid overwhelming details, but acknowledge their feelings.
4. Give Kids a Sense of Control
When kids feel scared, finding small ways to take action can empower them.
- Make a helper’s list – Ask your child to think of different types of helpers in the world (doctors, firefighters, teachers, etc.). This shifts their focus to positive actions.
- Connect with trusted neighbors, relatives and friends.
- Encourage kindness – Have them draw a picture or write a thank-you note for a local helper.
- Practice safety drills together – If appropriate, talk about family emergency plans so they feel prepared, not scared.
According to the AAP, when children understand that there are plans and people who keep them safe, their anxiety decreases.
Want to teach kids about community helpers? Learn about the many ways kids can give back in Charlottesville.
5. Foster a Calm and Comforting Routine
During uncertain times, routines provide comfort. Keep up with bedtime stories, family dinners, and favorite activities. The predictability of daily life helps children feel more secure.
The Sesame Workshop recommends using mindfulness techniques with kids, such as:
- Taking deep breaths together (“Smell the flowers, blow out the candle.”)
- Giving a gentle hug or holding hands
- Drawing or coloring to express emotions
Looking for relaxing activities? Simple Ways to Teach Kids Mindfulness
In a 2015 essay for The Nation, Toni Morrison wrote, “I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge—even wisdom. Like art.”.
6. When to Seek Professional Support
Most children will process scary events with time, support, and reassurance. However, if your child is experiencing:
- Frequent nightmares
- Intense fears or refusal to go to school
- Physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches
- Ongoing sadness or withdrawal
…it may be time to reach out to a pediatrician or counselor. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that mental health is just as important as physical health, and getting extra support is always a good choice.
Charlottesville Mental Health Resources for Families
If your child needs extra support or reassurance, there are many local organizations that can help:
Mental Health Support
- The Women’s Initiative – Offers mental health counseling for parents and children
- Region Ten Community Services Board – Provides child and family mental health services
- ReadyKids – Specializes in trauma-informed counseling for children
- UVA Children’s Hospital Behavioral Medicine – Therapy and psychiatric services for children
Charlottesville & Albemarle County School District Resources
- Charlottesville City Schools Student Support & Mental Health Resources
- Albemarle County Public Schools Student Support Services – Counseling, mental health, and family assistance
Emergency & First Responder Support
- Charlottesville Fire Department – Community Outreach & Safety Education
- Albemarle County Fire Rescue – Family & Youth Programs
- Charlottesville Police Department – Community Outreach
- Albemarle County Police Department – Community Programs
Let’s keep looking for the helpers—because they are always there.
Learn more about being part of a supportive community in Charlottesville and the value of letting kids do hard things.
FRANCIS GREENSTEIN, LCSW, has provided therapeutic services for over 30 years in Charlottesville, Virginia. Her background and training are in Structural Family Therapy, Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), and, most recently, in Fierce Love/Core Self Therapy (CSRT). She has worked in a variety of settings over the years, including outpatient therapeutic work, behavioral supports/counseling with families with children with autism and a wide range of disabilities, and an intensive in-home counseling program helping families to strengthen parenting skills, achieve personal growth for all involved, and stabilize the family unit.
JENNIFER BRYERTON, Ma Ed., our Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, started her career in teaching, Co-founded CharlottesvilleFamily and is a mom of four. A believer in experiential education and an avid gardener, beehives, a fruit and veggie plot, perennial borders and a chicken coop dot the family lawn west of Charlottesville. Jen also enjoys sharing travel, museums, theater performances and nature attractions with her family.